.

I've been on this spinning globe on seventeen years
pushed away all fears but some still lays around
emptyness and the fade from joyfull sounds
try to stand steady on earthquake ground
i've found ways that would give me good
but always take the path on the side
and never the one i should
i could turn around right now and take a new beginning
but in a race with wounded legs i cant se myself winning
all this stress is blinding and anxiety got it's grip
all the got to bes is a shirt that's to tight to fit
i've split every little atom to find a lighter path
tried to forget old loves and things i couldn't have
my mask is glad and what you see is what i've built
to never show my inside cause i dont wanna look like shit
im on the mid of the line that's my red line to death
beneath is the easy way to get away from all the problems that i'll never get
rid of, did some bad things and yes there's tons of regrets
but every feather got it's bird and every fuck up got it's cant lets
laying in my bed considering why i keep on walking
knowing that i can fool anyone as long as i keep on talking
my mind is haunting im like a walking horror movie
a psychopatic killer aint letting nothing ge to me
so sue me for not being myself but who does
listening to words from 100 people i cant trust
im on the edge to burst and thrust out of my shell and start screaming
inside im black as a cloudy night aint no damn stars gleeming
this is my last evening i think i've had enough
tired of trying to fix things no one can adjust
so goodbye my old lovers and goodbye my family
and goodbye my dear friends
and thank you for having me
it may seem savaging to just leave when everyone tries to help
but words and hope from other people doesnt give the same thing to myself
i'll put your memories on a shelf so you cant look back and remeniss
and ofcourse there's thousand people that im gonna miss
but this shit is something im just to weak to deal with
and with thousand scars in and outside there's simply no healing.
I remember my first kiss, and my first school year
remember being a rebel getting snatched in the ear
remember getting over fears and experiencing new things
being 10 years old wondering what sex might bring
everything was a big thing and i guess i had to high hopes
irony that ill hang empty from a tied rope
i remember going down in slopes
and when all shit started
and all the times i said i understand but didnt really got it
looking up to older kids feeling like a hobbit
i aint sobbing no im actually happy
so remember my last smile
and again
thank you for having me